Would You Cry?
by 27dayz
Summary: Matt is certain that no one cares about him and that no one would care if he died. What if Matt is wrong? rated for suicide. Tearjerker.


AN: this is a sad fic about matt and how he learns that he is not alone. R&R!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own digimon.  
  
"Would You Cry?"  
  
* * *  
  
It's become so hard to carry on. I just thought that if I kept everything inside, it would all just disappear. I was wrong. My friends don't seem like friends and my family doesn't feel like a family. But what was I expecting? I was given empty promises all my life. I bet that when you were growing up you never heard your parents say, "We promise that we'll always take care of you, Matt. Even though were getting a divorce, we'll always love and care for you." What a load of crap. After the divorce, I never saw my mom or brother and if that wasn't enough, my father made it worse. Dad was never home and when he was, he never paid me any attention. I can't believe I spent most of my childhood trying to please them.  
  
So tell me, Mom, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just walk away like you did when the divorce papers were through? Would you walk away and never look back? Tell me, Mom, would you cry? I don't think you would.  
  
So tell me, Dad, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just go to work and then come home and flop on the sofa like nothing happened? Would you show any emotion at all and say that you loved me? Tell me, Dad, would you cry? I know you wouldn't.  
  
As I said before, I hardly saw my brother. He was the reason I existed. I had to take care of him because he was the only one I had. But what happens now? Now Tk is all grown up. He can take care of himself. He told me so four years ago, when we were facing Puppetmon. He was right, he could fend for himself. So where was the reason I existed, now? It all disappeared.  
  
So tell me, Tk, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you fight within yourself not to because everyone would think you're a baby? Would you say that I was a good older brother and that you always needed me? Tell me, Tk, would you cry? I think you could.  
  
I would consider all of the digidestined my friends, but sometimes I feel like I don't know them or that they don't like me. Even after all we've been though together, I don't feel as comfortable around everyone as Tai does. But I never feel comfotable, so what am I complaining about?  
  
So tell me, Tai, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just shrug it off and go play soccer? Would you say that I was your buddy and that your not ticked off about me and Sora? Tell me, Tai, would you cry? I'm not so sure.  
  
So tell me, Sora, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just abandon me like everyone else in my life did? Would you say you loved me and that I was a good boyfriend? Tell me, Sora, would you cry? I'd hope that you would.  
  
So tell me, Izzy, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just forget about me and go back to playing with your computer? Would you say that you didn't know me or that I was your friend? Tell me, Izzy, would you cry? I'm not sure.  
  
So tell me, Joe, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just keep on trying to get into med school and not give me a thought? Would you say that you knew me or just not say anything? Tell me, Joe, would you cry? I don't know.  
  
So tell me, Kari, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you console everyone else and keep everything bottled up like me? Would you say that my death foretold your own and that you didn't want to end up like me? Tell me, Kari, would you cry? You could, but they'd be tears of fear.  
  
So tell me, Davis, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just be your empty-headed self and laugh? Would you say that I was your friend or that I was just your rival's older brother? Tell me, Davis, would you cry? I doubt it.  
  
So tell me, Cody, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you hide your emotion behind a blank expression? Would you say that I was a mentor and a friend? Tell me, Cody, would you cry? I doubt you know how.  
  
So tell me, Mimi, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you tell yourself that I was your ex and that you didn't care? Would you say that you're sorry or that I was a jerk? Tell me, Mimi, would you cry? I don't think you would.  
  
So tell me, Yolei, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you just chase after Ken without saying a prayer for me? Would you say that I was an aquaitence, not a friend? Tell me, Yolei, would you cry? I can't decide.  
  
So tell me, Ken, if I were to die today, would you cry? Or would you bow your head and say nothing? Would you say that I was a friend or a mirror of your brother's demise? Tell me, Ken, would you cry? You would, but it would be for Sam, not for me.  
  
I have news for you all: I am going to die today. Death is better than the life I lead. I lock my door and whip out a knife. This is it. One slice and I'll be gone. I'll leave everyone and everything behind. I hope someone tells Gabumon it wasn't his fault. I am certain that no one but him will cry for me. It's time for me to go. The blade sinks into my upper arm and everthing is slipping slowly away. I hear screaming from far off in the distance and a thud, but who cares? In a moment I'll be gone from this world, anyways...  
  
My eyes open and I look around. White lights shine above me. Am I in heaven? Wait a sec! If this is heaven, then why is the room overcrowded? Why is a doctor arguing with a bunch of people? Huh? Is that girl with tears streaming down her face Sora? I groan as I realize the truth. I'm lying in a hospital bed, not on God's doorstep. My groan attracted their attention.  
  
"Matt!" they all ran up to the edge of the bed. From close up, I could see tears streaming down their faces. My parents weren't there, but the digidestined were. Tears were pouring down each of their faces.  
  
"What am I doing here?" I asked. The more appropriate question was: "Why am I not dead?"  
  
"Dad busted into your room when you didn't respond to his shouts. Matt...why? Why'd you...do that?" my brother asked, breaking off to let the sobs come through. He didn't hold them back, like I thought he would. He let the tears fall. I was lost for words. Tk had proven he wrong.  
  
"W-where's my parents? Why are you all here?" I asked, surveying the digidestined.  
  
"Matt, why do you think we're here? You're our friend! You're mom and dad are talking to a d-doctor," Joe answered, pausing to dry his eyes. Joe was crying even though we hardly knew each other. What was the deal?  
  
"Why, Matt? Why'd you...?" Ken asked, but he broke of into a sob. Ken was crying, too? What's going on? Do they actually care? They couldn't.  
  
"No one cares..." I told myself softly, but they heard me.  
  
"What do you mean 'No one cares'? Matt, we all care about you! You're my best pal!" Tai exclaimed. I was? I looked closer at Tai and saw the hurt in his eyes and the tears that flowed continuously down his face. I was his pal? Tears welled up in my eyes, but I looked away.  
  
"Matt...I care," Sora said softly as she clutched my hand. I felt her tears fall onto my skin.  
  
"None of us could get along without you. You're Friendship. Were all your friends," Kari whispered. I looked at her and saw the truth in her eyes. She had tear-stains on her cheeks and her eyes filled with more tears.  
  
"I...I..." I tried to talk, but my throat constricted in realization.  
  
"Matt, we all care for you," Yolei spoke up. She was crying and was hugging Cody, who nodded and wipped his eyes.  
  
"Come on, Matt. You really didn't believe we would let you do this, did you?" Davis asked, flashing me a wattery smile. I felt my own tears falling down my cheeks.  
  
"Suicide is never the answer. Just hanging with your friends and family is," Izzy said, not wipping the tears flowing down his face.  
  
"Matt, I'm sorry. You're not a jerk. I'm sorry," Mimi fell to her knees and wept. I buried my face in my hands. They did care! They were my friends! I lifted my head, just as my mother walked into the room. Into, not out. She didn't turn away. Instead, she ran up to the bed and hugged me.  
  
"I'm sorry. Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed over and over. She did care. She cared as much as everyone else did.She let me go and I looked past her to where my father stood. He stood solid on the spot. I looked away. I was right about him. He wouldn't show emotion and he wouldn't care. I knew it.  
  
"M-Matt..." his voice broke and I looked at him. Tears streamed down his face and his shoulders shook slightly. He stumbled foreward and caught me in an embrace.  
  
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, son! It's all my fault! I love you! Please...don't ever...don't scare me...like that!" he sobbed. I just sat there. My father...he loved me. I never seen him cry. I never thought he could.  
  
"D-Dad, I...." I broke off and cried into my father's shoulder. I felt the others begin to hug us and I knew the answer to my question. I knew...  
  
So tell me, if I were to die today, would you cry?  
  
I know you would.  
  
* * *  
  
AN: it's soooooo sad! i cried writing it! 


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